You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
