you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
