butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
