my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The air was thick with penises
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
All the doctor said was why
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
