It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
