I'm jealous of your bromance
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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