i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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