his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
