Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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