"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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