walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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