Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize