I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
