Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
MIDGETS
????
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
