i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
