nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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