these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
