So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
