I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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