Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize