we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
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I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
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merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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