idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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