in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
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