I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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