I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
But theres a keg here and me gusta
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
