I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
