My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize