listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
