He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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