I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
