i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Less talking, more tequila
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
