Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Text me some of your sweat
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
