there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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