i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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