I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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