I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
