You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
