he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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