I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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