i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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