There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
