You made me cry and you don't even care
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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