Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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