He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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