Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
19 People Confess The Craziest Sex Act They’ve Ever Participated In
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?