This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.