Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?