We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.