I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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