Cold hands, warm shart.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
this just has baby written all over it
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
