im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
