my mouth tastes like poor choices
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize