New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
