i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
either way he was missing a nipple.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Can I color on your dick again?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
