i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize