Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
