we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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