just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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