Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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