my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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