Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
