I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
