My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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