I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
